The Wisdom Teeth Experience

Hello people of the interwebs.  It’s your girl Michelle giving you her first post which is dedicated to my journey that is wisdom teeth.

Now, I will begin this story back to some time in like 2015 or something.  Or was it 2014? I don’t know, but that’s not the point.  The point is that then was when I first learned about my issue with my wisdom teeth.  The issue being that I needed to get them out.

But that’s the case for most people isn’t it?  According to a few google searches, wisdom teeth begin to appear between the ages of 17 and 25, to which I was a bit early, but who cares?  I also learned that about 85% of adults get their wisdom teeth removed, so I guess I’m a part of that majority.

But that wasn’t all I had.  Apparently I had three extra teeth below my normal human teeth on my lower jaw.  Fun.  I think I’ve known that for most of my life since all of my adult human teeth came in, so it was about time that I had them sorted out.  After a couple of google searches I discovered that there is an actual name for this: hyperdontia.  Coolio.

So, lets go to the day of the surgery.  It was a warm July morning when we were driving up to the place.  Now, this places was like a good 45 minutes to an hour away, so you can sense the seven stages of grief that I was going through.  But we got there, and my fear started setting in.  What if I wake up and say weird stuff like people do on YouTube post-wisdom teeth removal videos?  What if they hit a nerve?  What if I die?  You know how many people die as a result of anesthesia?  I don’t, but I know people do.

As these thoughts ran in my head, I realized that it was time.

Well apparently not.

Turns out I had to eat beforehand.

Like, no one told me that when they called to confirm the appointment?  I’ve had surgery before for a cyst and they were like “y’all better not eat anything after 12 am.”  And now I have to drive to McDonald’s and eat something?  How about no?

As my slightly bitter and stressed self dragged myself to get a sausage egg McMuffin, I contemplated my existence.  Was all of this really necessary?  Like, I took the time to brush my teeth extra well and floss all good and stuff.  Now it’s gonna get ruined.

Eventually I was able to eat, sort of, and drove back to the dentist.  They called me pretty much right away, which is pretty chill because most dentists I’ve had tend to call me in an hour late, but I guess that’s just how it is.

Now, they sat me in this dentist-y room with some sick early to late 2000’s jams, my favorite.

Now, ya know how I mentioned how terrified I was about being put to sleep?  Well, it turns out that they weren’t gonna do that.  Great!  Wait.  No, it’s not.  That means I’m gonna be conscious throughout the whole procedure.  No, I’m not about that.  Not at all.  No, this isn’t what I was hoping for.  In that moment, I wished that they would put me to sleep so I didn’t have to deal.  No early Britney Spears song would make up for the fact that I would feel everything.  EVERYTHING.  Well, everything except pain, I guess.

Eventually they started injecting me with the anesthesia, which was not a pleasant experience especially for the roof of my mouth.  That was horrible.

After two of my wisdom teeth were extracted, my greatest nightmare was realized.  I had to pee.  Why me?  Of course I had to pee during a two hour surgery.  But I had to pee so bad.  And I knew that I was not halfway done.  No, I still had to get four more teeth removed.  Great.  Just great.

After an agonizing two and a half hours, they were gone.  Finally, I could pee.  Except I couldn’t yet.  Great, now I gotta wait a half hour to make sure I don’t pass out from anything.  And I still had to pee.  Like even more so than before.  Great.

Then came the light from the end of the tunnel.  I could go.  I, of course ran to the bathroom first thing instead of seeing my family.  Because when a girl’s gotta pee, a girl’s gotta pee.

The only thing was that not being able to pee was going to be the least of my concerns.

Then, came the blood.  And a lot of it too.  Great.  Just great.  Looking back on this, I’m just happy I didn’t get my period the same day like I was supposed to.

Once the blood came and went, then came the pain.  Excruciating pain.  The pain medications didn’t help much.

Then came my cereal withdrawal.  Now, I love cereal.  With a passion.  And not being able to eat it for days after left me sad, hungry, and a little bit empty inside.

Next comes the tooth brushing.  Now I didn’t brush my teeth the first day, which made me realize that I never asked the dentist about how I should do it.  So yeah, having my two or three three extra teeth removed (now I’m not exactly sure if he removed two or three of them) resulted in stitches that I’m afraid of brushing over.  Great.  Now I have dirty teeth, pain, blood, and sadness.

So, here I am.  It is day whatever after the surgery and here I am.  Just chilling.  I finally got rid of the gauzes because of the lack of blood (which I’m excited about), which is pretty great.  I spent the last few days watching Criminal Minds, Friends, and funny YouTube videos, which resulted in me slightly injuring myself from trying not to laugh because pain.  I also ate a crap ton of pudding and ice cream, which is pretty sweet (haha get it?).  So yeah, I guess everything’s chill-ish now.

Except I remembered I have to attend a quinceañera this weekend while still in pain.  Plus I probably won’t be able to eat any of the food.  Or I might just end up falling asleep because of my pain medication.  Well, I might just get yelled at by my mother, but it’s okay I guess.  Or it will be if they have beans and rice or something I could probably eat.  If not, guess who’s gonna try to sneak in a couple of pudding cups in her mom’s purse?